“Don’t know when I’ve seen such a lovely wedding. But I always cry. Don’t know why it is, but I always cry,” says Louella Soames in a famous speech from the play “Our Town.”

Here’s why you cry, Louella.

Weddings are utterly depressing affairs, whether you’re trapped in the bowels of introspection — What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me! Don’t hurt me no more! — or surrendering your best friend to a louse she met at trivia night. Thinking about all the mechanical grins, airtight itineraries and grayscale beef has me sobbing right now. Lovely they ain’t.

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